Welcoming a new baby into the family can be very exciting and somewhat overwhelming for a newly-minted Big Sibling. These items can make the transition smoother, and we've broken the items up into 3 categories: Books to read before baby arrives, Items that help promote bonding between the siblings, and Toys that entertain without overstimulating the 2-4 year old. 

First, a quick overview of what to expect in a second labor...
Second labors are usually shorter than first labors. The general predictive math is to cut each phase of labor in half... except for early labor. Early labor in second pregnancies can be a little fuzzy... often looking like runs of contractions after you put your older child to bed, that then fade away overnight. This can go on for days or weeks leading up to your due date and then suddenly, one night... they don't fade away and it's time to roll! Fun fact: this is the same prediction we usually use with VBACs as well, even if the cervix did not dilate in the first pregnancy. 

What about third labors?
​Complete wildcards. Sorry!!!  For the most part, they will follow a similar timing and trajectory of a second labor... but sometimes they have a MUCH longer early dilation phase because baby hangs out on the pubic bone instead of tucking and diving into the pelvis. Once they engage though, they usually fly right through. 

So, given that timing, here are some ideas for what you can do with your older child while you are in labor and recovering. 

1. Family or close friends​
Sometimes, parents get privileged to have family or close friends nearby that are familiar with the older child's routine and can easily step in and stay with the child at their home for the entire duration of labor and the hospital stay afterwards. You can be kind and helpful if this is the case, by arranging breaks for the primary caregiver from other friends or family nearby. If Grandparents are going to be caring for the older child, having an aunt or a friend plan to come take the child for a fun outing during one of their days can be a helpful addition. 

2. Current childcare provider... with a boost!
Often, nannies will be open to being on call for overnight work (with an additional fee) while you are at the end of your pregnancy. This should be discussed before agreeing to anything... discussing the rate and how many hours the nanny will want to work without a break. A common arrangement is paying the nanny their regular rate while the child is awake, and then switching to a "flat rate" overnight while the child is asleep. This really only works if your child reliably sleeps through the night without needing any care. 

Similarly, if your child has a flexible daycare provider (like a family-run in-home daycare), they are sometimes willing to be overnight care in a pinch...  you may have to drop a sleepy child off on your way to the hospital though, but it is worth exploring!

If your child is in a larger daycare and you don't have a list of regular sitters handy, you can ask the staff at the daycare if they are willing to be your on-call night time sitter for your older child. This could be a great option because your child already knows and is familiar with this person. 

3. Hire a Sibling Doula
Second labors are usually shorter than first labors. The general predictive math is to cut each phase of labor in half... except for early labor. Early labor is actually often longer, with a lot of "false starts" that send you to bed, expecting to be awoken with strong contractions and instead waking in the morning... still pregnant. Once labor REALLY starts though, your dilation phase should be half the amount of time and then pushing is also about half.  Sibling doulas are just that... professional doulas who are happy to be on call to drop whatever they are doing and come care for your child until you relieve them. This can be quite pricey, with the range being anywhere from $1200-$2000 as a flat fee. This usually covers a meeting with the family before the birth, and an in-person meeting or playdate with the child so they get to know the doula. The fee normally has an hourly cap on it, sometimes 24 hours and sometimes up to 36. It really depends on the doula's package. If you need care past the hourly cap, you can often have the doula stay at an additional hourly rate. 

4a. Have your partner go back home.
After your second baby has been born and you and your partner have bonded with the new little love, it is actually common for the second parent to return home (especially at night) to care for the older sibling and sleep in a real bed. I know, I know... it feels super weird and abnormal... but having a well-rested partner return to the hospital after breakfast to help you navigate the pediatrician exam and hospital discharge is really nice. Your night alone with baby in the hospital is not really alone, you'll have a nurse to care for you and baby. If that is not enough support for you...
4b. Hire an overnight postpartum doula for YOU in the hospital
This option is pretty easy to navigate and our team offers this as part of our overnight agency model. The doula would show up at 9pm for an 8-hour shift, ready to stay all night and help you get to and from the toilet, and hand you the baby when it's time to feed. They will do all of the rocking, diapering, soothing, swaddling... all while your partner is sleeping happily in their own bed. This service for our team runs $520 for one night, and other doulas in Seattle are similarly priced. 

5. A combination of the above *the most common option*
I have a few examples of combinations I have seen work well... and yes, these are all real situations. 

Family: Alex (birthing parent), Blake (second parent) and 3 year old Riley.
Alex goes into labor at 3 am, and Blake calls their nanny over to sleep at the house with Riley. Nanny takes Riley to preschool the next day and then Grandma picks up Riley at 2pm. Grandma take Riley back to their house for the evening and the baby sister June is born at 3pm. Blake stays with Alex and baby June until 7pm, and then goes home to relieve grandma. Blake stays overnight with Riley, doing bath time and bedtime as normal. A postpartum doula arrives at the hospital at 9pm to help Alex with June, leaving at 5am. Nanny returns at 8am to care for Riley as it's a non-preschool day. Blake returns to the hospital at 8:30 to help get Alex and June ready for discharge. The pediatric and physician checks on Alex and June are done around 3pm and they pack up and head home where Riley is waiting to meet baby June. 

Family: Alex (birthing parent), Blake (second parent) and 3 year old Riley.
Alex's water breaks at 7pm when Blake is getting Riley into the bath. Contractions start immediately and they all pile into the car, calling their doula and nanny on the way. Doula gets to the hospital before they do and is standing at the entrance when they pull up. Doula helps Alex get into the labor unit and Blake waits in the parking lot for 10 minutes until Nanny arrives to take Riley back home. Baby June is born at 8:20pm that night. Nanny spends the night and following day with Riley, getting a small break while Riley is at preschool. Alex and Blake opt to discharge a little early with baby June and leave the hospital at 5pm the next night. 

Family: Alex (single birthing parent) and 3 year old Riley.
Alex feels like labor is starting just after Riley has gone to bed and calls their dad over to crash on the couch to be ready when it's time to go. Alex has also planned to have their best friend, Heather, come hang out while labor ramps up and calls her over to stay the night. Labor picks up at midnight and Heather and Alex head out to meet the birth doula at the hospital. Riley wakes up in the morning and grandpa takes Riley over to his house to spend the next day and night with Nana and Papa. Alex gives birth to baby June via cesarean section at 8pm. Alex realizes they won't be discharged for 2 more nights, so they call a preschool friend of Riley's who agrees to pick up Riley the next 2 mornings and keep Riley for a playdate, returning Riley to Nana and Papa before lunch to give Nana and Papa a break. Riley still naps so this is a nice long break each day for Nana and Papa. The doula leaves after the baby is born, and Heather stays the first night to support Alex. After Riley is picked up by the preschool friend the next day, Alex's mom comes to spend the day with Alex and June and Heather goes home to sleep. Alex had hired a postpartum doula to be on standby for night shifts. Between Nana coming during the day to hang out and help, and the postpartum doula overnight, Alex feels supported even with the unplanned cesarean. Grandpa takes Riley to visit on the second night in the hospital, bringing dinner to Alex and getting Riley some much needed parent-snuggles while meeting baby June.

Family: Alex (single birthing parent), 6 year old Rowan and 3 year old Riley.
For this labor, Alex has planned to deliver at home and only plans to have the older child (Rowan) home for this event. Alex knows they will not be able to surrender into their labor unless they turn off "parent mode" so they have multiple layers of childcare ready. Labor begins at midnight when both kids are curled up in Alex's bed. Alex calls their birth team and calls their mom to come pick up Riley. The birth team arrives first, including Heather who will be acting as Rowan's doula for the duration of the labor. Alex's sister arrives and packs up Riley, driving them to grandma's house for the night. Heather and Rowan play dress up, bake cookies and pull a fun all-nighter during the 6 hour labor. Rowan feels supported and happy, and gets to come snuggle the new baby as soon as they are born, cutting the cord and cuddling up with Alex in the big bed after the birth. 

Other considerations/FAQ:

We are birthing at home and we don't want to have our older child present, what do we do?
Similarly to the above, you will need to find one of these options that will welcome your child into their home for the duration of the labor. It is vital that you also have a backup childcare plan that covers time in the hospital in the event of a transfer. While this is unlikely to be needed, not having this plan could make a transfer infinitely more complicated 

We are birthing at home and want our child present. We don't need childcare. 
Yikes... this is definitely not accurate. You will be indisposed and unable to care for your child and if you want your partner present with you for the delivery, having birth childcare is vital. This is actually the original purpose of a sibling doula. Sibling doulas are on call to come to your home for the delivery and offer support to the child, whatever they need. They might need a snack, a nap, or labor nuances explained or normalized. You can hire a sibling doula for this or you can find a trusted friend who knows your child well.  Also, a planned home birth does always carry the risk of transfer to hospital and it is not wise to bring a child to the hospital for that event. 

I am not comfortable leaving my child with any caregiver and we have no family in the area. Nannies, sitters and sibling doulas are not an option and my child does not go to daycare or preschool. 
If there are truly no options other than you or your partner and you are planning to deliver at the hospital, your only realistic path is to have your partner skip the labor attendance and hire a birth doula for you for labor support and arrange postpartum doulas for you during your stay in the hospital. This path absolutely happens and is a valid choice that some parents will make to prioritize their comfort while the new baby arrives. 

Please, do not plan on having your child attend your hospital labor or birth. Hospitals usually have policies against children in the labor room and honestly, people do not labor well with a small child in the room. They need to be able to turn of "parent mode" in order to fully lean into their labor. Even if you think you will be comforted by your child's presence, your child is more than likely to be distressed by yours as the necessary moaning, screaming, fluids, blood, tears, fear, chaos, ecstasy and joy of labor can be unsettling. It is less unsettling if the labor occurs in the home the child knows, with sights, smells, snacks, toys, comfort objects and midwives the child knows well. It is even further comfortable for the child with a dedicated support person who can take them to another room of the home when they need a break. 

Yes!  

And nope. Not at all. Not even a little bit. 

Sure, my bags are mostly packed with vacuum-sealed pouches of donations bestowed upon me by my lovely friends, colleagues, clients and neighbors. My clothes have been sprayed with bug-stuff that would make the FDA cringe, but it will prevent me from getting bit by malaria-carrying insects so hell, I'd bathe in it if it was allowed. I have my training schedule done, my outlines printed and my activities planned. My kindle is charged and loaded and I have a certifiable pharmacy in my travel bag in the event that I get any possible malady known to human kind. I have a small travel purse loaded with my passport, flight information, visa documents, travel insurance and the letter from Shanti Uganda saying "please let this nice lady bring a shit ton of needles and syringes into the country, I promise she's not a junkie." 

But am I ready? Nope. 

How can you be prepared to teach an 8 day training in a country you've never been to, with people you've never met? 

What I do have is confidence. Confidence that even though I'm literally flying into unknown territory to do a Really Big Thing, I will rock it and I will rock it hard. I will come out of this experience with a deeper understanding of myself and the world we live in. I will learn from these women taking my training and they will learn from me. 

KC and I also have two clients who have crept passed their due dates this week. They are sitting on the verge of doing something that is new and unknown and life-changing in ways they won't understand until they walk through it. There are so many connections between the self-discovery of birth and life itself. 

Like the birthing parents I serve, I will walk into this experience with the advice of the ones that have gone before me, I will prepare for the unknown and trust my own inner power. In client interviews, we are often asked what we find to be the best coping tool during labor and my answer is usually "confidence".  If you believe your body can handle the pain of birth, and you trust the process that nature designed, you are more likely to achieve your goal of an unmedicated birth.  

Confidence is vital in birth work and it's what separates the amazing doulas from the mediocre ones. Regardless of experience. If a brand new doula can walk into the birth room with confidence that they can provide support for this person who is suffering, they WILL do it. Laboring people need to know that someone in the room isn't scared, isn't nervous and trusts that their body can handle whatever the labor dishes out. Our job is to carry that confidence for them when they've lost their own.

"I believe in you. I know this is unbelievably hard. You will find strength you don't know you have, and you will push this baby out!" 

My colleagues and friends who have taken this trip before me (as students) tell me it will be a life-changing experience. While I have deeply appreciated the advice and words of KC, Natasha, Melinda, Kristina and Jane, this experience will be my own. Just as pregnant people listen to birth story after birth story preparing for their own labor, I will hear the words given to me and lovingly accept the tips of what (not) to wear, what to pack, how to properly dismount a camel, and what conversations to avoid (it's still illegal to be gay in Uganda so I have to conduct the portion of my training geared towards supporting Queer families in the comfort of our hotel). I will have a better experience because of their support. They might not be with me in Uganda, but they are my doulas and midwives for this experience regardless of distance! 

Stay tuned... I leave in 36 hours and I'll hopefully be able to post some while I'm there! 

One of the very first things new doulas start to do (sometimes before they even sign up for trainings) is to brainstorm and start filling their bag of tools to use to help support people in labor. It's exciting! Like packing for a vacation!  Google searches are made, Pintrest is scoured, lists are created and the purchasing begins!

So, after 9 years of attending births and countless doula bag rotations and changes, what can I offer you as a suggestion for what you need to bring?

Answer: A whole lot less than you think. 

Part 1:  THE BAG
I have an amazing ability to get bored with a purse or diaper bag after about 3.5 trips with it so I actually have 3 doula bags that I will rotate through depending on the month. The smallest one is a lovely blue woven bag that was a gift from my aunt on Christmas about 20 years ago. It was funky and lived in the closet until it called to me one day, begging to be brought to births... I usually tote this with me to births I anticipate will be quick... a second time birther at home, or something like that. The medium sized bag is the one pictured above and that is my standard bag lately.  The "Big Kahuna" is actually a JuJuBe Be Prepared diaper bag that I love way too much to retire. I use it as my birth bag when I know I have a lot of people due and I anticipate possibly needing to go from one birth directly to the next without time to restock my bag!  

Part 2: Stuff for you
What? You didn't think you'd need that much stuff?  I will say that when I first started out, the majority of my stuff was for "them", but over the years, I started ditching weird massage tools and stress-squishy-balls and added in more snacks and a can of dry shampoo. Beware that this list is real and a bit TMI-ish... read at will: 

• "Morning in a bag": Travel toothbrush and paste, pack of baby wipes so I can "shower" my sweaty pits, swamp-ass and under-boob area, a can of dry shampoo and extra hair ties and head bands. Taking 10 minutes to refresh myself during a long birth is just as energizing as a cup of coffee. 
• Medications: PACK YOUR MEDS!  Pack at least 3 days worth of whatever you usually take because there's nothing worse than forgetting to restock your meds. I also carry Advil, Aleve and Pepto chewables. Not because I anticipate going to a birth while ill (please... just don't) but because there are a dozen other reasons for a pain reliever such as sore feet and back from supporting the laboring person, period cramps if that's a thing that might happen or even just for a caffeine headache. The Pepto (or Beano or Gas-X or similar) is because 18 hours of eating dried mango and granola bars can do a number on a digestive system... you just never know and you don't want to be adding any "aromas" to that room that will ruin the concentration during a contraction. Another thing that you can use these for (at your own risk): a birth partner with a headache at 3 am when the hospital pharmacy is closed. The hospital will not give anyone who isn't a patient a Tums much less a few Advil.
• Extra Clothes!! A full second outfit. Down to the socks. At a home birth in a shoe-free household and step in a puddle of god-knows-what? You'll be thankful you packed extra socks. Going for a double-hip squeeze over the side of the birth tub and your chest takes a dip? No worries! You have an extra shirt! Puke on your pants? Extra comfy pants. Check! Underwear too.
• Are you an ovulating human?  Pack your menstruation products, even if it isn't due to be your time!!! All of that oxytocin swirling around the room has been known to affect the tide of the uterus and bring on a flow earlier than anticipated. Tricksy Oxytocin. 
• Food. Pack all the food. What do I pack? A variety of the following:  Luna Protein bars (the cookie dough is my current favorite), Kind bars, Lara bars, nuts (be aware of allergies in your client), yogurt covered raisins, shot blocks, EmergenC, Nuun tablets, packets of instant oatmeal (add hot water and you have a hot meal!). If I have time before I leave, I'll pack some good fresh foods: sliced up cucumber, grape tomatoes, cheese sticks, ham and cheese rolls, hard boiled eggs or I'll grab a tub of frozen soup from my freezer. 
• Chapstick
• No-Doz or chocolate covered espresso beans
• Gum or breath spray
• Full water bottle. Hydrate Hydrate HYDRATE. 
• Your cell phone charger- you're likely still on call for other clients!
• Sleeping things such as an inflatable pillow if you're in a hospital with rules about linens in the waiting area. I also pack a sleep mask for the midday naps that can happen. 

Part 2.5: What do I wear?!

• Comfy clothes. Comfort matters. A lot. 
  
• NOT scrubs. There are a billion opinions on wether or not to wear scrubs and I stand firmly in the "nope" category with one caveat: Dickies Cargo Scrub pants are SUPER comfy and handy with all the pockets. Pair those with a professional-looking comfortable top and you will be fine. They don't look like scrubs and you won't be mistaken for a medical professional.
  
• Birth-Nerd-Shirts: My only hesitation comes in the wording... does the shirt guarantee an outcome? Does it say "I believe in your ability to birth!"? Maybe don't wear that to a cesarean (which in reality could be *any* birth). Does it boast your love for unmedicated birth?  Will that offend someone who is choosing medication? I love my stack of birthy-shirts, but I chose one appropriate for each birth and for hospitals, I usually just wear the tank top I had made that has my logo on it and nothing else. It's simple. 
• No Jeans!  You will need to be able to move and bend over and not have things digging into your gut and sides. 
• People with breasts: lock those up. A sports bra is smart because you will be working hard, and make sure that your top isn't so low-cut that things start falling out. 
• Shoes and socks: Make sure they can be work for long periods of time. I wore Crocs until the squeak-factor got to me. Now I wear Danskos but they are also starting to squeak so I'm looking into getting a really good pair of tennis shoes. 

Part 3: Things for them:

• Rebozo 
• "Heat Wave" Heating Pad. I got this on Amazon and then went back and bought a second one... and then a third. They work really well, I was just lazy about boiling them for an hour to reset and sanitize them. Having 2-3 in rotation is wise. 
• Jambox or other bluetooth enabled speaker. I also have a Spotify subscription that I use for births (hint: tax write off) and have made multiple playlists of seemingly innocuous tunes that get *most* people moving. Spotify also has hypnosis albums on there and some are even labor-specific!  
• Pack of LED candles. Spring for the melty-looking ones. They are more whimsical.I have about 12 of the votive-sized ones and they work well. Watch for them to go on sale after Halloween!
• Aromatherapy or essential oils if it is within your scope (some doula organizations allow it and some do not, so check with your org). 
• Massage lotion or oil. I've recently fallen in love with the Body Shop's line of dry body oils. They are lightly scented but SO easy on my hands and I'm not greasy after using them. It's always wise to keep a bottle of jojoba or coconut oil on hand as well for people who are sensitive to smells or want a natural oil. 
  
• Gallon-sized Ziplock bags and a few extra adult diapers. If your client's water breaks before you all head to the birth place and they are nauseated and woefully unprepared for that car ride, it can be made much more comfortable with them in a diaper, clutching a giant barf-baggie that comes equipped with a spill-proof zipper. 
• Most recent edition of the Labor Progress Handbook by Penny Simkin 
• The Spinning Babies Quick Reference Booklet by Gail Tully

Part 4: Tech for the Birth Worker
      *a separate blog post coming soon!*

That's it. Honestly. Your hands will be stronger than any massage tool or fancy gadget. I never got coordinated enough to use the tennis ball in a tube sock, so I ended up tossing it and just using my fists. Here are some things to AVOID:

No-No List:

• Pepperoni sticks or other heavy-aromatic food
• Perfume or scented deodorant
• Food that is in crinkly packages or is loud when chewed
• Open-toed shoes in a hospital (don't let your footwear be the reason they don't allow you to accompany your client into the OR if needed). 
• Cigarettes. No smoking at births!  This should be a no-brainer but third-hand smoke can be really bad for new babies. Pack a patch if you need to, but do not smoke during a birth. And yes, they will know if you did. The laboring human's nose is like a bloodhound. 

There is a new trend I'm seeing in the world of doula work and I have to say, I don't like it. It's a shift in the mentality that once drew me towards a profession full of support and sister(brother)hood. Doulas are now telling other doulas how to run their businesses. Scathing blogs are being written about how taking births for free is going to ruin the profession. Seasoned doulas are shaming brand new doulas who have decided that offering a birth for a reduced cost or no cost in order to gain experience is a disservice to all doulas everywhere and the clients they serve.

It's packaged neatly in words like "you're worth it!" and "be proud of what you offer!" and "own your worth!". Behind it though, is a fear-based catalyst that these reduced cost doulas will somehow take away the clients from the doulas who charge full fees.

So, let's talk brass tax...

How much should a doula charge?
Whatever the doula wants to. It's not anyone else's business how much or how little that doula charges. The doula will do market research and see what doulas in their area are charging. They will likely scan DoulaMatch.net to see what other doulas with their experience level in their zip code are charging. They will look at their own family situation and decide what it will cost to attend the birth (gas, parking at the hospital, childcare) and they will come up with a reasonable fee. New and seasoned doulas will increase this fee as their experience grows and the market shifts.

Can I do a birth for free?
Sure. Why not? That's up to you. Remember though that no birth is actually free, you will have out of pocket expenses at each birth you attend. Sometimes though, a birth will come along that really speaks to your doula heart. A military mother who's husband is deployed. A lesbian couple who can't afford a full fee doula with queer experience in their zip code due to the mounting costs of fertility treatments they needed to get pregnant. A teen mother who is scared and feels alone. The mother who is placing her child to be raised by adoptive parents and needs someone in her corner for full support. A best friend. A sister. Any of these can ring out and pull at your doula heartstrings and I personally encourage you to listen to your doula heart. Is this a month where your calendar is full of paying clients and you have the space to take this on at a lower fee or free? Will it fill your soul in ways that money doesn't?

Is it worth it TO YOU?

Or is it not?

Do you feel like a business that offers a discount or charitable offerings is not successful? Do you feel like you should be paid for your time regardless of how much experience you have? Then by all means, do not take that low paying client. You will resent them and not be your best self in their birth room.

Clearly, a business that offers services for free isn't a "business", right?
Says who? Lawyers do probono work all the time. Doctors volunteer at clinics. That pizza joint on the corner sponsors the Little League team. The drug store down the street donates a bunch of extra supplies to the homeless shelter.

What about that coffee shop stamp card in your wallet? For every ten coffees they sell you, they give you one for free. So maybe for every ten births I do, I can offer one at a discount. Sure, it's a massive price point difference but let's explore why do they do it...

Advertising!!!!

I have NEVER regretted a free or discounted birth and do you know why? Because I have gained something in return. Sometimes it's simply an experience to add to my list, sometimes it's a tip or a gift. More often than not, it's a repeat client who can afford more next time and in the meantime, shares my information with friends at parent-baby group and I gain 3 more full fee clients. I also get to work with new care providers who learn about me and what I do and I hand them a stack of cards at the end of the birth which results in years of referrals down the road. Marketing our services is HARD and the best way to do it is in the birth room, so get in there!

What about the experience? Is that really worth it?
Absolutely. Your training will give you practical skills but you won't learn how to read a laboring moms movements or hear the intent in her labor song until you are in that room over and over and over again. This is a profession that is studied with experienced-based learning and it's downright cocky and rude for doulas to suggest that they are as knowledgeable as a doula who's seen 50 births when they walk out the door of their training.

Keeping my finger on the pulse of the midwifery community through friends and colleagues has given new insight to this trend as well... they're baffled at many things within this new surge towards doula who claim you can make "executive salaries" if you work like they do. Student midwives have to PAY their preceptors to attend births with them so they can learn and gain experience. OBs spend years as an intern, often paid less than the nurses are. Why do they do this? Because in order to be the best in your profession, you need experience and you need to get that however possible.

In some areas, gaining experience will look like a doula charging a low fee and in rural areas where doula work is unheard of or rare, it might mean free so that you can grow this profession and put your name out there.

A word of caution if you opt to charge the "experienced doula rate" for your area and you do not have that experience level yet: be prepared with a confident answer for your interviews. When a family asks you what your experience level is, they may raise an eyebrow if you say you've only attended 3 births or none at their intended birthplace. Sometimes they will hire your confidence and not your experience, but you also should be ready to have a light workload for awhile and possibly drop your fees in order to get your experience.

Bottom line...

This is a profession that has many many many options. There are industry standards or each city and state, but overall, there are many kinds of doulas with many price points and business practices. Some doulas will never be able to offer a free birth, some will. ALL doulas should be kind to each other and support the many ways that this work can be sustainable for each individual doula. Just like we support the families we serve and help them find their best birth choices, so must we support our doula sisters and brothers while they find their best doula business choices. Informed choice, respect after.

So Kate, now that I've enrolled, what can I expect to learn at this training workshop?

This weekend workshop will fully equip you to begin your work as a doula. You will not leave the weekend with a certification in hand, but you will have the skills to support mothers in birth. We cover the following: 

• What is Birth Arts international and what the heck was in that koolaid you just drank?(kidding... sort of)
• The physiology, stage and phases of pregnancy, labor and birth.
• History of birth support. What it means and doesn't mean to be a doula. What is your scope of practice?
• Attending a birth- labor positions and coping skills, holding space and counseling families
• Hippo Socks- What are they? When do you wear them? (not kidding in the least)
• Building and growing your practice. How will YOU succeed?
• So. Much. More.  This is an exhaustive weekend with long days and lots of breaks. You will bond with your fellow students and leave inspired and ready to walk this path!

Is there anything I can do while I wait for my training to begin? I'm eager to get going!

YES! With your registration confirmation email from Kate, you will get the book list for certification and that is an excellent place to begin!  You will need to read 9 of the books on the list and having that base knowledge before you take your training will give you a deeper understanding of what this work can mean as we explore it. 

You can also find a childbirth education course to audit before your training and contact your trainer for documentation forms if you do!  This is especially helpful if you have never taken a childbirth education course before or haven't given birth yourself. 

What else is required for certification?
​
The requirements for Birth Doula certification break down into three basic categories: Experience, Business Success, Study & Grow. 

Experience:

• Attend a training or enroll in the online classroom. 
• Observe Childbirth Education class(es) in your area
• Tour two hospital birthing units (one can be a midwifery birthing center)
• Attend and document five births.

Business Success:

• Create your intake forms and client contract
• Put together your birth bag of supplies
• Create Client handouts and a resource list
• Submit a business plan and create your marketing materials.

Study and grow:

• Write the essays and assignments listed in the BAI manual (you will get this at your training)
• Complete the introspective assignments (surprise! We do a few at the training!)
• Interview mothers about their birth experiences (we do some of these too!)
• Read and report on 9 books from the list. 

That's it!  It might seem overwhelming at first but these all serve a purpose: To help guide you to be the best doula you can be and to truly find YOUR best business practices. Spoiler alert: they will likely look different than every other student in your class. Just like birth preferences are unique to the mother, so will your doula heart be unique to you. 

What makes Birth Arts different from other organizations?

So here's the thing... Birth Arts International believes firmly that our organizational standards of excellence speak for themselves. We believe that there is a perfect doula organization for every aspiring doula. Birth Arts may be right for you but I encourage you to look at the other organizations to see which one fits your doula style and heart. Here is a brief overview of why *I* feel that Birth Arts should be at the top of the list:

• Birth Arts is one of the oldest and most successful doula training organizations in the world. Born in 2000, it has trained over 20,000 birth workers and is growing rapidly!
• Demetria Clark Honestly, yall... she's the reason Birth Arts is as amazing as it is. Her mission is to offer Doula Trainings at a low cost so it is accessible to more people and to offer a certification pathway with realistic and attainable requirements that prepare you not only for the heart of this work but also to run a successful business. 
• Those realistic certification requirements?  What do I mean by that? I mean that when you complete your required births for certification and are looking at getting your evaluations filled out... who should be completing the evaluation of your work?  The nurse? The doctor or midwife? No. Birth Arts wants the family you served to review your work. Asking a healthcare professional if your work was adequate could be conflict of interest and honestly, while their opinion of you matters in regards to your reputation and success in your community, the opinion of the family you served matters for your certification. The requirements set forth by Demetria and BAI are realistic. 
• I've mentioned before that Birth Arts has the most comprehensive program out there and I can explain that a bit further... our book list is longer, we require more births and we require our doulas to complete about two dozen "introspective assignments" to really challenge themselves intellectually as they journey down this path. 
• Setting up a sustainable business matters to Birth Arts. We don't simply want to fill our trainings and then send you out the door with a pat on the head and a packet to fill out. We want our doulas working in their community and our certification sets them up for success. We require a business plan, marketing materials, client forms and contracts and we help you find your best path towards completing those. 
• Certification never expires. Never. Why don't we require CEUs or recertification?  What is the mission behind that unorthodox move?  It's very simple. The mission of Birth Arts is to have as many certified doulas as possible in rural and low income areas. Often, that means that the doulas themselves are low income and don't have access or funds for multiple trainings and continuing education. We trust that in order for a Birth Arts doula to remain successful in their community, they will take these classes if they have access to them and they will keep up to speed on the latest information in the world of birth. 
• The online classroom. Wow. Seriously... I can't even describe the wealth of knowledge at your fingertips when you log into the classroom. You have access to all of Demetrias lectures and webinars. You can continue to learn and re=learn at your own pace while you complete your certification requirements. This is supported by Facebook groups full of other Birth Arts students as well as all of the trainers... whom you can connect with and reach out to for support as you grow. 

That all sounds great, but $450 is a lot of money... is there any kind of discount?

Is it?  Really?  Sure to some families, $450 is a month of rent or food... but I challenge you to find any other career that can be started and certified for that price. $450 isn't all you might need to spend to launch your full successful business though, so let's break it down:

• $450 for training and certification
• $80 for books (or free if you have access to a library)
• $200 for supplies for your birth bag, marketing materials and printing 
• $150 for website fees and design costs 
• $50-$200 for a childbirth education course if you need to pay for it

This feels like a lot, but consider that a newly trained doula can earn anywhere from $300-$600 on average for their fist few births and you can recoup your ENTIRE investment in the first few months. There is literally no way that you can afford NOT to take this training. Especially when compared to the training costs, fees and annual dues of other certification organizations. 

There are limited scholarships available but they are limited to special scenarios and you do need to consider the full investment into this. You are looking at maybe around $1,000 for a complete start up into a business that can earn you $30-$80k in the future. My first year as a doula, I made $7,000 and that wasn't even full time and I charged way less than new doulas do now. 

Wait, so I can charge money for my certification births?

Hell yeah you can. You should!  Birth Arts does not limit what you charge for your births, nor do they require that you charge. You can be free if you want but consider this: no birth is free. Every birth will cost you gas, parking, supplies and potentially childcare. Charge money for your certification births, even if it simply covers your estimated costs. 

Down the road, you can raise your fees and even set the high enough that you are able to offer your services completely free to those clients who speak to your heart... do you have a passion for serving teens? Single or military mothers? Mothers relinquishing their babies for adoption? Women of color?  Mothers experiencing loss?  Keep your heart work in mind while you grow!

You mentioned childcare... and I feel totally stuck. How do I manage that?

Network. Community. The Village. Childcare options may feel overwhelming but you have so many options:

• Another doula who is in the same boat - swap childcare with them or better yet, start a partnership with shared call and watch each others children while one of you is at a birth.
• A local stay at home mother who is happy to earn some pocket money for random childcare during the week
• Family and friends that are local. Especially if they are free, this is a good way to start your business until you are earning enough to pay someone.
• Hire a nanny. Share a nanny. 
• Drop in childcare centers in your area

I have been a doula as a married mother of two children (one of whom was still nursing), and as a single mother of three children (again, the youngest was nursing) and as a re-married mother of 5 blended children. I have had other doulas on call for me at night for a flat rate, I have had a long list of "potential sitters" that I worked down as the labor call came in and now I have JulieTheSuperNanny who literally steps into my minivan when I step out to a birth and runs my house like the badass she is. The bottom line being: try out options for childcare and don't be afraid to explore every area to find the perfect situation. I found JulieTheSuperNanny through a neighboring Buy Nothing group on facebook!  Be creative!

What about your partner?  Are they supportive? 

Ah. Yes, the partner. If you are a single person looking to be a doula, you face a different set of struggles that I'll address later. If you are partnered, you need to have a serious and open conversation with your partner about what this will mean for you and your family:

• Do we believe that this investment will be worth it? How can we make room in our budget for the startup costs of my business?
• Can we make our lives work around what the on call life will bring? What will happen when I miss a birthday party or holiday? Can you carry our children through that?
  • OR - do I want to start this from a place where I don't take clients during the months of important family obligations and holidays?
• Will you be able to handle our family's needs if I am gone for two days? Bedtime, night feedings, getting the children off to school?
• Will you help me coordinate the childcare and shuttle the children to school or the sitter's house before you go to work?
• How can you help support our children emotionally when I am gone for a long period of time and they miss me?
• What will you do if my work interrupts or intimate times?  Sex? Date nights? Will you eventually get used to a labor being a priority for me?
• This last one doesn't apply to every family, but it can sneak up on many marriages:
  • How can you reframe any jealousy over how much I love my job? Will you be able to support me without bitterness as I find financial success with my passion while you slave away at your steady work that supports our family?
• Well... maybe make this one the last question: What are we going to do in a few years when we have an extra $20-$50k income???  (yeah.... end with that... that's a fun one)

I swear we need to offer a support group for the partners of doulas and midwives... they have many tales of interrupted sex and they know the best pizza places that deliver dinner fast!  They also know that the joy they see in us when we walk in the door with amniotic fluid on our pants and vernix on our elbow.... and the way that our work sets an example for our children about following your passion and being a proud business owner... it is worth it.

Are you ready?  Click HERE to take the next step! 

I am so excited to announce that I will be running a "Birth Arts International Experienced Doula Crossover Certification Retreat".

...wow. That's a mouthful. What is that now?  

There are many experienced doulas in the Pacific Northwest Region that are looking to re-certify with Birth Arts International.  One of the many reasons I love BAI is that they cater to the unique needs of each individual doula.  Has your certification lapsed? Is your current certification organization requiring massive amounts of CEUs? Do they want you to start at square one and take your original training again?  BAI doesn't require that. We have crafted the perfect crossover recertification process for the experienced doula in the Seattle area and the steps are as follows:

1. Sign up for the BAI Crossover Recertification Retreat in January! At this training, you will get a BAI manual and re-ignite your #DoulaFire. We will connect with each other and spend the weekend sharing the uniqueness of each of our Doula practices and styles and mapping out pathways for our individual growth with BAI. 
2. After the training, you will be entered into the BAI Crossover Online Classroom where Demetria Clark, founder and director of Birth Arts, will work with you personally to determine what is required for certification as a Birth Arts doula. If you have already been previously certified, she will accept the materials from that, as well as factor in how long and how experienced you are in this field. 
3. Your BAI certification never expires and there are no annual dues required. Relax and grow your practice! That's all we wish for you! 

Going forward, there is a vibrant online community of BAI doulas and you can help grow the BAI presence in the Seattle area!  BAI is not new... they've been certifying doulas (mostly in the South and East Coast) for nearly 20 years. It's time Seattle shared in the joy that is Birth Arts International!

​As a celebratory kick off to the growing BAI doula cohort, I will be hosting a BAI Meet Up on this retreat weekend... all BAI students and practicing doulas in the area are welcome on Saturday evening at 7pm!  Information on this will best be found via the Facebook Event as well as on the main registration page.